Bonecrusher's Blog of Hate

Name's Bonecrusher. If you're reading this, I hate you. If you're not reading this, I hate you. Actually, I just hate you period. In fact, I hate everything. This blog examines the subtleties and complexities about this mindset, which flashbags like yourselves can only hope to ever achieve. Good luck with that.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Transformers: Animated

Let Bonecrusher tell you all a little story. You see, a long time ago (about 20 years, actually), a bunch of warring space robots woke up from a million year long sleep, to find a bunch of ape descendants had conquered the planet they crashed on. Moreover, those ape descendants were an intelligent species who understood the value of marketing brand recognition. Thus, the ape descendants and the robots signed a contract, that the ape descendants would leave the robots alone, and in return, the robots would allow them to make toys and TV shows and movies in their name.

And let me also tell you that every one of those shows sucked. Come to present day, and the great and mighty Hasbro has decided to roll out and sully our names again. This time, with an idiot cartoon called, and get ready for a real original title here, "Transformers: Animated." Like they've never done that before or anything.

There's a lot to complain about really, but the first and most obvious thing - well, I'll just show you.
Ok, Hasbro, fess up. Which moron thought that this was a good idea? Now, I know we Transformers are way smarter then you human imbeciles, but did you really need to make it obvious by making our heads so stupidley big? And, please tell, why do we need such massive jawlines? Is that motorcycle supposed to stab people in the eye with that, or what?

I don't even need to go into how the Decepticons are portrayed as not 1/1000 as vicious as we really are, or how Prime is actually a moron (come on, he never won the war! He only gets the hero because he made the liscencing deal before Megatron), or all the other woeful inaccuracies. Cybertronian historians watch these things for amusement. If you're going to tell the story of our war, you should at least bother to get it RIGHT.

Ah well. At least they're leaving my good name out of this one. I don't want to even contemplate how hideous I'd look on that. Ugh.

Incidentally, I've found myself busier as of late. I'll only be posting 3 days a week from now on (Mon-Wed-Fri), and sporadically on other occasions, should I feel like it. I'm sure you'll survive without my dose of hatred every day. Now slag off, the lot of you.


Anonymous said...

Hey, fucking fucker!
Guess what? The show is gonna be a success so your fucked! HAHAHA! FUCK YOU!

Weasel said...

Well, I liked it. It was fun.
And I like you Bonecrusher, even though you would just tear my face off. :)

tfnut said...

Wow bonecrusher hates everbody. Check out my TF blog also.. :)

Anonymous said...

Gotta agree with Bonecrusher on the "animated" stuff, not that he'll like that or anything.

taasia said...

WOW, talk about harsh comments.

I personally have to agree with Bonecrusher on this one. I'm definitely not a fan of the "animation". Unfortunetly, I won't escape this one...being as popular as I am.

Bonecrusher, I wouldn't be so sure you've escaped this one. They may need to bring someone back, who isn't so important, just to kill them off again.

But do not worry. It may be awhile.

Soundwave said...

you think that is bad

I am in animated

im mean come on why am i added to a dumb show like that?

but i have to admit one thing, seeing the figures and leaked images, i think i kinda look cool

i get a HUGE guitar to play with

veronique said...

I agree with Bonecrusher.
I hate that Transformers: Animated shit! The only transformers series that I like to watch is Transformers Armada, Energon, and the TF movies of course. What is this world coming to?!?!