Blah Blah Blah

Driving along. Boring long road. Nothing to hate. Let's turn on the radio.

*click*

Hello, I'm Talking Head Number 1. I think I'm more important then I really am! You know that other loser? He sucks! He wants to sacrifice children to Satan himself, steal your money, and kick your puppy! I'm still more important then you, so I'll talk for about an hour about how much everything is being done wrong. First, who is the idiot who designed our weather system, huh? In fact-

*click*

I'm Talking Head Number 2, on your fair and balanced news station. We are fair and balanced, so let me just say that Talking Head Number 1 is, and I'm being balanced when I say this, a complete doodoohead with the intelligence of a turnip. Talking Head Number 1 may think I'm sacrificing children to Satan (January 12th, tickets on sale at our website, spectators welcome), but he wants to take your children, lock them in a closet, and let them rot for 12 years. And I say this policy is barbaric, and we should kill anyone who advocates it-

*click*

You know, I could get to like these guys. After my own spark, they are. But they need to be a little more hateful before they can get on my approved list. As it is, they're far to willing to wuss out. And fair and balanced? What kind of slag is that? Fair and Balanced should be the meeting of my fist and their face. Toughen up you fleshy losers, and really HATE. You skinbags all lack the courage to do that. Wusses.