Bonecrusher's Blog of Hate

Name's Bonecrusher. If you're reading this, I hate you. If you're not reading this, I hate you. Actually, I just hate you period. In fact, I hate everything. This blog examines the subtleties and complexities about this mindset, which flashbags like yourselves can only hope to ever achieve. Good luck with that.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Tiny Toys Made by Tiny Minds

Of course, the last Bonecrusher 'action figure' abomination wasn't enough. Noooo, Hasbro had to get more out of their precious licensing deal. And you know who suffers for it? Me! That's who. They can just throw out all these horrendous toys as much as they want, but it's not their image they are ruining. No, it's big, dumb old Bonecrusher, who nobody cares if he looks stupid in plastic form. Oh, how I hate all of this.

So, in their efforts to get the most for their buck, Hasbro insisted on making multiple size classes of each toy. Now, they could have given me the giant tailgate-kicking class (like they gave to Brawl, probably as an apology for getting his name wrong), but instead the next size-class they put me out as was the 'humiliatingly small' class.
Awww, isn't it so.... so... disgustingly unpainted. Looks like Hasbro was too freaking lazy to even paint the wheels. And where's my tatoo? Ah well, at least they put the claw in the right place. Yuck. There I am, Bonecrusher the Micro Machine. I might as well curl up and die. But that isn't the worst part of it.
And I thought the last robot mode was bad. It's like they aren't even trying, Look at that face! Just look at it! Now look at my picture over to the right. Do those look remotely the same? No, they don't, and don't you dare tell me otherwise or I'll rip your arms off. And my poor feet, my poor, poor feet. My legs look like they were pulled off some lame Japanese robot from the 70s. And don't even get me started on those arms.

So, apparently it's ok to make someone look like... well, not them, for the sake of a toy. This is a philosophy that has to change. And by 'has to change', I mean 'Bomb Hasbro HQ'. Hrmm, I wonder how long it takes to get to Rhode Island from here.

Oh yeah, and these photos sucks. What's with that ugly blue thing in the background? I hate it. Make fun of the fool who made them here.


Soundwave said...

Wow and i thought my cybertron version sucked slag.

i guess other bots do have it worse.


and michael bay

they ruined us

Cyberwolf said...

I've been praying for Leader Class treatment for you for a long time. You body checked a bus, for crying out loud. I'm sure it was loaded to the brim with nuns. That's hardcore! What did Brawl do? Fire about 15 tank shells that didn't hit one target?

Random Human Victim said...

Aaaaaaaahhhh! He tore off my ARMS!

Jazz said...

I'd have to agree with Soundwave.

Although we autobots have sworn to protect the human race...we do have our limits.

Down with Hasbro and MB!