Bonecrusher's Blog of Hate

Name's Bonecrusher. If you're reading this, I hate you. If you're not reading this, I hate you. Actually, I just hate you period. In fact, I hate everything. This blog examines the subtleties and complexities about this mindset, which flashbags like yourselves can only hope to ever achieve. Good luck with that.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

It Is Time to Do Something

This is Dicken's fault. After witnessing the horror of the mis-aptly named 'A Christmas Carol' (There was no singing. Not that it would have made the story any better), I came to the realization that not one of you measly fleshbags truly know what 'hatred' is all about. I had hoped this Scrooge fellow would have been an inspiration to your pitiful race, but no, even he didn't have the understanding about what true hatred is.

It's a concept that is apparently too difficult for you morons to understand. Primus knows I've tried explaining it to you fools whenever I happen to run into one of you happy-go-lucky twits, but especially these days, with this wretched feeling of good cheer everywhere, it's time for me to put my foot down.

This blog exists solely to try and convey to you tiny-brained insects what it is like to hate and loath something to the very depths of your spark. I will be presenting case-by-case basis of just why you should be hating each and every single thing you encounter in your life. This may take awhile, but hey, I live for thousands of years, and its not like there's anything better to do while stuck on this miserable rock.

So, for the first bout of hatred, lets talk about this wonderfully incompetent tool you guys call 'blogging'. First off - what kind of stupid name is 'blogging' anyway? Which one of you monkey genius's thought of that? I don't want to know.

Anyway, this primitive method of internet posting is an effective tool for spreading around the mind-numbingly dull thoughts humans have. Unfortunately, it often degrades into unimportant nonsense like 'What music I am listening too' and 'How I am feeling at the moment.' (Answer: Angry.) To all those who persist in things such as that, do you actually think anybody cares what your listening too? That on the scale of galactic importance, your feelings even measure on the 'I wasted my time to read that'? No! Unless you're in the hobby of amusing Sharkticons (A dull task I can tell you), I strongly suggest you knock it off.

Now, this Blogging mechanism is not even a truly effective tool. Attempting to put this page together was a frustrating effort in futility. What kind of interface is this, when one cannot even upload the most handsome picture of himself, and must instead use the one where his eyes are clearly closed? What do you MEAN, you won't accept .HGIR image files? HoloGraphic Image Representations are the Holographic Standard across the entire galaxy! I mean, I know you fleshbags are primitive, but COME ON! And this 'drag and drop' interface. It lies. I dragged and dropped this machine all over the place and it did nothing. NOTHING. Well, it did change to a blue screen once, but that wasn't the desired result. How utterly frustrating this thing is. I hate it. I hate it so much that I almost don't want to touch this again. But, I swore to make you humans understand what hatred truly is, so alas, I shall return with more things I hate. Hopefully, you twits will learn something from my suffering.

3 comments:

Soundwave said...

Bonecrusher I really like how you work. I also hate how the fleshlings set up this, "blogging" slag. We could show them how to do things properly.

Rurudyne said...

If you don't like Dicken's A Christmas Carol, might I suggest the Blackadder Christmas Carol instead?

Keeping in mind this is Blackadder about to meet a drunken Ghost of Christmas, the opening lyrics are:

He's kind and generous to the sick,
He'd never spread a nasty rumour,
He never gets on people's wick,
And doesn't laugh at toilet humour.
Blackadder, Blackadder,
He's sickeningly good.
Blackadder, Blackadder,
As nice as Christmas pud.

Found Here: http://www.funny-videos.co.uk/videoblackadderxmas16380.html

Rurudyne said...

Ummm ... in case that doesn't show the last bit is:

videoblackadderxmas16380.html