Bonecrusher's Blog of Hate

Name's Bonecrusher. If you're reading this, I hate you. If you're not reading this, I hate you. Actually, I just hate you period. In fact, I hate everything. This blog examines the subtleties and complexities about this mindset, which flashbags like yourselves can only hope to ever achieve. Good luck with that.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

A Short Story

There was a time when I thought that there was nothing in the world I couldn't hate.

And after years of experience and searching, I have found that yes, there is nothing in the world I can't hate.

Just thought you should know that.

So, I'm taking a stasis nap the other day - yes a NAP. Even we need sleep once in awhile. What, you think it's easy running around 24/7 killing things and smashing people's houses? Well, I'd like to see you flesh sacks do better.

Ahem, where was I? Oh yes, nap. I was taking a nap the other day when, lo and behold, I was awaken by an obnoxious sound. Now, it takes a lot to wake me up, so as you can imagine, I was quite annoyed. For a brief moment, I was convinced that you humans had finally come up with an effective sonic weapon to use against us, and I was all prepared to go to war, when I realized what it was.

Do you humans really feel the need to flash bright lights and loud sirens every time one of you monkeys injures itself? Because it's ANNOYING. I have sensitive audials, and I hate that sound. If it weren't for a timely intervention by about 12 concerned Autobots, I would have smashed that thing in. It would have made my day slightly less hateful.

Monday, April 28, 2008


It would be mail day today, except for the fact that all the emails I got were from Kreemzeek and his psychotic friend Shinki. No email today.

So, in other news, I'm beginning to realize that with all the infighting in the various political parties, hate could have had a chance. Ah well, that bridge is burned.

Yesterday, I saw some nutjob on TV eating live bugs. It then occurred to me that if all fleshlings spent their time eating bugs, I might hate them a tad less. So, I encourage you to take up bug eating as a hobby. Especially spiders.

Frenzy, who I currently have locked in my basement, has been begging to get his claws on the internet again. He's a certified, genuine, net addict. I was going to kill him outright, but seeing him suffer like this is much more entertaining. His little pitiful cries are music to my audios.

That's all I have to say at the moment. That, and I hate you.

Thursday, April 24, 2008


Well, it's that time of year. The time of year when all us Cybertronians go into hiding, underneath our beds, whimpering. Yep, it's Botcon, when all the slavish fanboys drag themselves together into one seething mass of stupidity that could crush the mightiest spark.

Now you are well aware that Hasbro butchered our history, our species, and our names, and then threw it at Children for them to play with. I hate that. But, at least those are just kids. When adults are spending their time and money obsessing over toy robots, slagging heck, that's just plain creepy.

And Botcon is by far the worst of the lot. I mean, sweet holy Primus. What is up with that? Several thousand slovenly geeks drooling over special crappy repaints of toys with idiot ideas? (This year, they're doing Evil Autobots! How original. It's about time they listened to our propaganda.)

And worst of all are those dreaded cosplayers, who attempt to dress up for us for reasons entirely unknown. That's the stuff of nightmares, right there.

So by now, you've probably figured out why none of us has ever attended one of these things. We'd be dismantled by rabid fans 5 seconds after entry. And trust me, ain't a slagging one of us is risking that.

Also fangirls lusting after Starscream. WHY PRIMUS? WHY???

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Just Because

Just in case some of you don't believe that email is becoming a veritable dumping ground of idiocy, allow me to offer this counterpoint:



Yeah, that's all the energy I have for today.

I'll have some words about that upcoming fraud of a Transformer Convention by Friday.

Monday, April 21, 2008


Some words from the cesspool of spam that is my mailbox.

I love reading your blog. Not in a feel good way of course, because you are all Hatey McHaterson, but it's entertaining in a hateful way. How come you aren't on Twitter? I'd love to get tweets from you. Then you can tweet from your human cellular device while sloshing away at the new job. Elbow deep in human feces, I'm betting, will provide us with some awesomely hateful posts from you.

I know, you hate me for suggesting it for Twitter!

Good luck at the new job!


No. I already slave myself to this blog and AIM, I don't need to become part of yet another global network of uninteresting people.

Do you really think your out of work?

Yeh, in the film you were "own" by Prime and scattered all over a freeway. However, I doubt Sector 7 would leave your parts out in the open like that. Further on in the film Barricade was no where to be seen (I could be wrong...I've only watched the film once). But maybe Barricade went back to get what was left of you and has taken you possibly wait for a way to put you back together. OR...maybe you where thrown into the abyss with megatron. Either way, when Soundwave (or Hook) arrives he just might find a way to bring you back. After all what would Devastator be without all 6 of you? Would the director come up with some completely new fill-in?

Just a ramblin thought.


I'm sorry, but unless you're Frenzy (or Waspinator), it's just a tad difficult to come back to life from getting your head chopped off. Ask Marie Antoinette. And besides, as I've said already, if I can at all possibly avoid it, I NEVER WANT TO BE PART OF DEVASTATOR AGAIN. Ever ever ever. They can go find some other chump bot to be the arm. Or, heaven forbid, the crotch.

Daleks, if you don't know, are overlarge R2D2-esque killing machines with a chewey organic center. Their goal in life is to exterminate everything other than themselves because they hate everything else and consider every other form of life inferior.

This rather reminds me of you. I was wondering why you hate them.

They have a philosophy of life that rather appeals to me. Sadly, the Daleks are about as useful as Reflectors alt mode, and just as dangerous. Nice try, but no dice.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

We'll return after the following from our sponsers

Commercials these days suck.

I'm flipping my way through the TV channels, and as usual, there are more commercials than actual TV. I decided to wander through the realm of these commercials and transcribe what I observed.

1) Athletes Foot makes you wear soccer gear.

2) Unless you get 'Natural Male Enhancement' (I don't even want to know what that means), your marriage will disaolve.

3) Watching movies is more important than anything else in the world. (This one might be true).

4) Burgers are worth wrecking your car over.

5) Insurance companies do not make good commercials.

6) Other programs are inevitably better than the one you're watching right now.

7) Certain cologne makes women spontaniously wear less.

8) After that many commercials, the remote will magically embed itself in the TV, and I will leave the room in disgust.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Posting Schedules

As you may have noticed (Yeah, right, like you care), my posting schedules are, shall we say, in flux, at the moment.

The reason is because I finally realized my supply of money was too low. I hate that. So I got a job. In case you're wondering, I hate it.

I don't want to get into details, but let's just say I'm doing janitorial work. It's humiliating. I really, really hope that offer for TF2 comes through. They probably won't accept it, the slaggers. But, even a giant robot needs cash to survive, and since I hate begging, honest work it is.

If they survive another trip of my cleaning, that is.

The long and short of it is that I'll now be updating Monday and Saturday, and either Tuesday nights or Wednesday evenings, depending on my mood. Don't question it, or I'll stomp you.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Emails, Shmemails

You guys are severely lacking on the email department. I hate my lack of creativity in deciding new topics, so send me some, lest I hunt you down and pummel you.

Dear Bonecrusher,

Speaking of Devastator, whose idea was it anyone to combine all of you fools? I have to admit I kind of miss seeing you all together and trying to do something (I say something because I was never sure what the bunch of you were actually trying to accomplish). You made for great entertainment.


You remember Megatron's 'Giant Purple Griffin'? The same guy who came up with that, with similar success results. If you haven't noticed, our leader was not the cream of the crop as far as doomsday inventions go. The sad part is that we were one of the more successful ones.

The next email... Well, I've been ignoring this guy, and I'll show you why. I don't really need to comment on it, but unless you guys step up, this is the kind of email I will be forced to answer.

I hate you! I hate you! Hate you, hate you, hate you!

Stole your lines, didn't I?

Oh, wait you don't have any lines!!!!

I suggest you contact Anita Life. She'll help you.

Anita Life.

Anita Life.

Anita Life.

"I need a life?" You sure do!


See what I have to deal with?

Saturday, April 12, 2008

I've had a Headache for 6 weeks straight now. And people wonder why I'm so grumpy.

Cybertronian headaches are similar to human headaches, except ours are caused by biomechanical feedbacks, and often whistle loud enough for other people to hear them. So, in addition to annoying you, you get the added benefit of annoying everyone else in a 100 foot radius as well. As you can probably guess, I hate them.

Sadly, there is no miracle pill for a Cybertronian headache. We don't have tylenol, or advil, or any of that slag. We just have to sit here and suffer.

Or, alternatively, we could make everyone suffer with us. Wrecking houses is a great stress reliever, do you know that? Of course, now property values in the area are plummitting, so now would probably be a good time to invest.

Now, I'm going back to my stasis nap. If anyone dares wake me up, trust me, it will not be pleasant.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008


I got another email in my inbox that deserves it's own post.

Hey there, Bonecrusher.

I've been keeping an eye out for any news for the Transformers sequel that I can manage to get my hands on. I've heard that the Constructicons might be in the Transformers sequel, but if that were the case wouldn't that mean they'd have to bring you back, or would they just do a bunch of name changes since some of the names were used in that last movie?


I certainly hope not. If they offer me the role, I won't turn it down, but I'd hate it. You see, there's nothing I hate more about my past then that stupid Devestator fiasco.

Let me tell you about combining, and why I hate it. Imagine feeling completely powerless, like a big marble statue, unable to move or do anything. Now imagine the biggest flock of pidgeons you've ever seen.

That's about what it's like to be Devestators arm. Essentially, it's like trying to take a nap, but 5 other guys are arguing in your head, and somebody keeps whacking your tailgate against something hard. And then sometimes they make you hold the gun, then blame you when you miss. If you haven't tried it, it's really freaken hard to shoot out of what is essentially your rear end. Especially when you're a bad shot anyway.

And the bickering. We Constructicons hate each other, and that's not just because of me. Scrapper is a freaken wuss, Hooks is a prick, Long Haul's dumb as all get out, Mixmaster is just plain obnoxious, and we don't talk about the other guy. Now throw all of us into the same head space, and essentially you have a bigger disaster than Megatron and Optimus's last peace talk.

In short, combining really SUCKS. Is it any wonder I ditched them to go out alone? And you stupid Transfans keep asking for more Devestator repaints, and since Hasbro still has their grubby hands on my good name, that means I get to keep seeing my name attached to these mix matched freaks.

I hate it.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Some Email Today

No, I'm not going back into politics. That bridge has been burned. Thank Frenzy for that.

Apparently 'I Have No Life' Kreemzeek has been signing me up for more slag. Thanks buddy. I appreciate it. Hope you like being squished.

So, only one 'real' email today.


Have you heard of a human holiday as April Fool's Day and if so, what is your opinion on it? (Besides the fact that you hate it...) Did you prank anyone at all or what?

Do you have any ideas that you can come up with that you'd be willing to share? I have this particular teacher at school who is a total "S.O.B." and want to get back at him for all the crap he's put me through in his classroom! I have some ideas but they're really pathetic...I hate to admit it but I really need help with this.


In case you missed it, Frenzy got the drop on me on this 'April Fools Day'. You know, I really can't understand why you humans would have a day dedicated to lying to other people. As a whole, you're not that deceptive of a race, unlike, say the Quintessons, who would have entire years devoted to that activity, or, of course, Decepticons, who named ourselves for it.

All I know is it annoys the slag out of me.

As for your problem, I am no advice columnist, so why are you asking me? My sole advice consist mostly of smashing straight through whatever it is that I hate at the moment, but sadly, fleshy bodies are not designed to take that kind of abuse. I guess you'll just have to suffer. Which, of course, is fine by me.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

New Layout and Dropping Out

It took for. slagging. EVER to clean out everything Frenzy did to my account, the slagging wireframe. When I get my hands on him, he's a dead bot. A very dead bot.I hate him.

And because of him, I'm dropping out of the Presidential race. In addition to hacking my blog, that wireframed glitch went through my personal files and leaked it to the press. Now the press (read: Reflector) is threatening to expose all the people I've flattened. Not that I mind, but apparently there's laws about this sort of thing. Who decided that? Not any Cybertronian with a head on his shoulders, I'll tell you that. It was a worthless gesture anyway. You slagger's aren't ready for a Cybertronian President. Yet. Maybe in 2012. Maybe.

Also, you'll notice, things look different. Frenzy did a lot a damage, and besides, I hated the old look anyway. This one's not much better, but it will do. Leave feedback, and give me more things to hate by Monday, or else I'll hate you all.

More. I'll hate you all more.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008


Frenzy, you slagging little scrap heap, what did you DO? It's going to take ages to fix this1 When I get my hands on you, you're going to be a can opener for the rest of your miserable life!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008


For some reason people always ask me whether I am red or blue and I never understood the question I mean do I look red or blue to you? I'm more of a silver greyish though my eyes are blue so I guess I could be considered blue but I don't think it counts and besides neither of these are really AWESOME enough to be me, besides where did that come from anyway, I'm not red and I'm not blue so why do people keep asking me that can't they see for themselves unless maybe they are blind and I think being blind would not be awesome because you can't see awesome things if you are blind so if you're blind I'm sorry and I hope the rest of your life is awesome anyway.