Bonecrusher's Blog of Hate

Name's Bonecrusher. If you're reading this, I hate you. If you're not reading this, I hate you. Actually, I just hate you period. In fact, I hate everything. This blog examines the subtleties and complexities about this mindset, which flashbags like yourselves can only hope to ever achieve. Good luck with that.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Opening the Mailbox

Let's see who's decided to bug me today.

Dear Bonecrusher:

You and I have one thing in common, we both hate the human race.
But I bet I hate humans more than you do! You seem like the kind of guy who
has way too much time on his hands. You're probably some pathetic "flesh bag"
who lives with his mommy! I hate the living.

Signed by your so-called "pathetic" fleshbag critic,

While hating the human race is an improvement, I sense a psychological disturbance in you. In fact, I believe that you are projecting your own situation onto me in an effort to release your anger. In answer to that, I must instead council you to try breaking things to relieve your stress. Try doing it with your head. Let me know if that fails to knock some sense in to you.

And incidentally, I do have a lot of time on my hands. You know why? BECAUSE I'M A RETIRED WAR VETERAN. There isn't a lot of work for us, you notice, especially when we're of the Giant Robot variety.

Hey there, Bonecrusher.

Hate to break it to you, but I survived the road trip, although I did
hit a nasty blizzard in New York.

Anyway, I was playing the Wii version of the Transformers game that's
based off that Michael Bay movie you hate so much, when I realized
that you're hardly in the game at all. You're only in two missions,
and I have to protect you from military gunfire in both of them while
playing as Starscream. What in the world is up with that? I know
that you're no weakling, and definately wouldn't need protection from
another Decepticon, especially Starscream. Care to enlighten me about
why such missions portraying you as a weakling, when you clearly
aren't, exist in this game?


Rin, I'm beginning to think you're either flirting with me or stalking me. I would recommend not trying either. The last time someone tried that, they woke up with their legs three miles from their torso.

As for the game, I had issues with Activision. They could never get my play style correct - you'd think it be easy, just run around and hit things, but NO, they couldn't do it. No matter what they tried, it failed to live up to the fact that I didn't hate it. After I killed two of their executives and ran over a third, they finally decided to 'remove me from the game.' Knowing that, I left, not realizing that by 'removing me', they meant 'throwing me in as a worthless side-character'. I wasn't happy.

You'll notice the game got bad reviews. I'm the reason why. Journalists will say anything if you threaten to bludgeon them to death with their own legs. I also have the top programmers for the game on my hit list. They moved their Headquarters to another country because of it. Good riddance.


Anonymous said...

You think I'm flirting/stalking you? Ha! Let me tell you something, Bonecrusher. You're not my favorite Decepticon (no offense). Starscream is. If I were to flirt with any of you Decepticons, it'd be with him, and I'm not even the kind of person who likes to flirt. The only reason I keep talking to you is because there aren't any other Decepticons (or Autobots for that matter) to talk to, and I'm not counting Soundwave, either.


Anonymous said...

Yes! Finally I don't feel like I'm the only one that thinks Starscream is coolest decepticon! Some of the others come close (Bonecrusher is the lowest no offense) but Starscream is still at the top of the list. Thanks Rin!