Bonecrusher's Blog of Hate

Name's Bonecrusher. If you're reading this, I hate you. If you're not reading this, I hate you. Actually, I just hate you period. In fact, I hate everything. This blog examines the subtleties and complexities about this mindset, which flashbags like yourselves can only hope to ever achieve. Good luck with that.

Friday, February 22, 2008


Some people recently moved in next to me. Now that, of course, was a mistake. Perhaps a forgivable mistake -after all, it is easy for idiot humans to mistake a good giant robot for a bad giant robot, if they are blind, deaf, and only have one functioning brain cell. But that isn't why I was forced to destroy their house.

You see, someone in this family - I don't know which one - has an appreciation for music. Specifically, music that only has notes that go BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM at a very annoying and repetitive rate. This person would play this music going BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM for hours on end, even at the late hours when I'm trying to enter my rest cycle - and switching off my audials didn't help, because the bass was deep enough to shake the floor. And there is nothing more annoying that late at night then BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM.

At first, I tried to retaliate using Cybertronian Street Metal. Cybertronian Street Metal was invented by Squawkbox, and it is the most obnoxious thing you have ever heard. It sounds, roughly, like a cat being put through a blender in the middle of an Earthquake. And throw some screams and sirens in there too. There is a good reason Squawkbox is no longer among the living.

So I hunted down Rumble and extorted his recording from him. I switched off my audials, cranked up the volume and let it go.

After awhile, convinced that no loving thing could survive such an auditory assault, I switched it off and tried to resume my rest cycle. Forty minutes later - you guessed it - BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM.

That's when I knew I had to take drastic measures. Long story short, I gave them a BOOM they won't soon forget.

So to all you angsty humans who play your obnoxious music way-too-loud, consider this your only warning. I. Hate. That.

1 comment:

Weasel said...

I could've used you when I lived at my old apartment. You would have had real fun tearing apart the stupid loud squishies that lived above me.