Bonecrusher's Blog of Hate

Name's Bonecrusher. If you're reading this, I hate you. If you're not reading this, I hate you. Actually, I just hate you period. In fact, I hate everything. This blog examines the subtleties and complexities about this mindset, which flashbags like yourselves can only hope to ever achieve. Good luck with that.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Ninja

I'm finally over that little virus you wretches gave me. But now I feel bad again because I dared to open my email today, and received this little gem that made me feel just as bad.

Dear Bonecrusher,
I was wondering if there are any Ninja transformers on cybertron, and what you thought of the Ninjas here on earth.

DarkNinja

First off, 'DarkNinja'? Really? What kind of name is that? The kind that a 3-year old would attach to think it made them look cool. Apparently, using your real name, probably something like 'Louis' or 'Reginald' makes you look too sissy, so instead, you decided to make it all 'cool' with 'DarkNinja'. Here's a wake-up call 'Louis' - the name 'DarkNinja' makes you look STUPID, not COOL. Not that any name could possibly make you look cool.

Secondly, what is this? This is not 'Ask Bonecrusher About Cybertronian Culture', it's 'Ask Bonecrusher What He Hates'. What makes you think *I* know anything about Cybertronian Ninja's anyway? But since I don't have anything better to do, I'll answer your stupid question anyway.

Ok, so now that I've got that off my chest - I don't know if we have any Cybertronian Ninja's per-se (not that it matters, because Ninja's are overrated these days anyway), but I've heard Sixshot works as a Ninja Consultant. Otherwise, well, no. Cybertronians don't need to kype martial arts from you humans, we have our own. The higher ranking Autobots know Diffusion techniques (and let me tell you, those hurt), and we also have Crystalocution, Circuit-Su, and Metallikato. I tried Metallikato once, and just standing hurts more then those Diffusion techniques. I used to know a couple Crystalocution masters as well, and they were all Jerks who didn't know how to actually fight. Now me, I've master the art of 'Punch-You-In-The-Face-And-Beat-the-Living-Slag-Out-Of-You-Itsu'. I find it quite effective.

Oh yeah, there's also that Prowl guy for Animated, who pretends to be a Ninja, but he's not.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

ok, that was kinda wierd but....oh well. i got 1 question. just what do you hate? seriously. what do you hate? i know you hate fleshlings (like me). i like dark evil things. i hate the goody-goody-two-shoes stuff, like, "let's be friends." god i hate that. and your right about the T.V here on earth. it does suck. there is never any thing to watch on T.V unless transformers is on (which i missed on saterday). well i better let you go so you can get back to your evilness >:-).

Anonymous said...

oh i forgot to ask this, how did you come back to life after optimus prime ripped your head off in the movie? how did you do that?