Bonecrusher's Blog of Hate

Name's Bonecrusher. If you're reading this, I hate you. If you're not reading this, I hate you. Actually, I just hate you period. In fact, I hate everything. This blog examines the subtleties and complexities about this mindset, which flashbags like yourselves can only hope to ever achieve. Good luck with that.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Angry, with a chance of Hate

One of the singular most effective tools you fleshbags came up with for annoying people is the Weather Report. This sprawling industry is one of the few where people still believe them, despite the fact that their track record is approximately 0%.

As noted in a previous post, I hate rain. If there is a good chance of rain, I won't leave, mostly because I hate it so slagging much. Well, the other day, I decided to head out for a stroll (and by stroll, I mean looking for something to break). But before I did, I glanced at the weather forecast, to make sure there were no unpleasant surprises waiting for me.

Come to think of it, has there *ever* been a surprise that is not negative? I would thing 'unpleasant surprise' is a double-negative, seeing as how all surprises inevitably end up harming or embarrassing you. Once, Skywarp tried to throw a Surprise Party for me. Of course, everything ended up disastrous (I hate parties) and I ended up punching Skywarp through a wall. So, surprises suck all around. But I digress.

Anyway, so I stepped outside, and went on my excursion. Broke a couple cars, beat up some flesh bags, ran over a guys puppy, you know, stuff like that. Then, without warning, someone opened up the flood gates.

You human insects have this story about this guy who built a big boat to survive a lot of rain, well, he had NOTHING on this storm. I haven't seen rain this heavy since the last time I complained about it.

So I immediately headed home, driving through entire oceans that were forming due to this downpour. With righteous indignation I pulled up the weather page, only to find it said there was a 'possibility' of 'light rain'.

The next time I saw a weather man on my TV, I punched the TV in. And now I have a broken TV too. I hate weather forcasters.

2 comments:

Mike said...

Well Bonecrusher,

There's a reason why the weather report isn't up to standards...

It's called a forecast! Merely, a prediction. Our atmosphere here isn't constant (unlike on Cybertron I bet), and changes are almost an instant. Our weather is not an exact science per se...so give us a break!

Sheesh!

If you don't like it (which I'm willing to bet on...) then leave our planet.

If that's not optional, then deal with it!

(BTW, if you didn't catch it in my post, you could work on your spelling - it's forecast...we have a nifty tool called Spell Check, I highly recommend it.)


Oh, and nice to finally meet you.

Weasel said...

If you think that's bad, come to Wisconsin. Weather sucks majorly. Freezing cold, lots of snow during winter, major heat and humidity during summer. It blows chunks.

But I lived in a huricane-prone area before moving here. I'll take WI crappy weather any day. Weather sucks almost anywhere anyways.