Bonecrusher's Blog of Hate

Name's Bonecrusher. If you're reading this, I hate you. If you're not reading this, I hate you. Actually, I just hate you period. In fact, I hate everything. This blog examines the subtleties and complexities about this mindset, which flashbags like yourselves can only hope to ever achieve. Good luck with that.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Decepticons

Now this one might get me into trouble, but as often the case when I get into trouble, I don't care.

It sucks being a Decepticon. I hate it, and though they won't admit it, so do most Decepticons. The hours are long, the pay sucks, and oh yeah, your boss is a freaking slag heap. There was a time when I once almost respected Megatron, which is the only reason I got in on the Cons in the first place. Then he built that giant purple griffen thing, and it went downhill from there.

Megatron is strong in body, but one of the stupidest individuals you've ever seen. I mean, his alt mode was a Hand Gun - a SLAGGING HAND GUN. There's nothing more humiliating then having your terrifying leader get locked in an alternate mode, and you have to drag it off the battlefield as the Autobots laugh. I wish I could say that only happened once, but it didn't. Fortunately, he finally wised up (after several thousand years of that war) and got himself a jet alt mode, which is still slagging ugly.

Then there's Starscream. Don't get me started on that pompous, self-important twit. I'm fairly sure he's the only Decepticon ever to have posed for Playbot. When he got the makeover for Bay's movie, his reaction was wonderful and priceless. Seeing him suffer so brought a tiny amount of joy to my spark. Then he started taking it out on everybody else, and I hated him again.

Then there's Soundwave. That monotone suckup is obnoxious, always trailing around kissing Megatron's skidplate and rattling on people who have the slightest bit negative to say about anyone. I'm fairly sure he's the reason I haven't made it to Decepticon Second in Command by now. Not that I'd want the job. It looks like it sucks.

And there's a whole huge assortment of other morons, egomaniacs, weaklings, psychopaths, dullards, and just plain stupid Decepticon's in our ranks. It's really pretty pathetic. How we lasted as long as we did in the war is beyond me, really.

2 comments:

Soundwave said...

"Then there's Soundwave. That monotone suckup is obnoxious, always trailing around kissing Megatron's skidplate and rattling on people who have the slightest bit negative to say about anyone. I'm fairly sure he's the reason I haven't made it to Decepticon Second in Command by now. Not that I'd want the job. It looks like it sucks."

I do not trail around kissing Megatron's skidplate, nor do i rattle. Maybe you should be happy that you are not second in command like starscream is, you dont get blasted all the time by Megatron. And what I do is between me and me.

Anonymous said...

It looks like you aren't that stupid after all. You can clearly see what we Autobots knew all along.

Starscream was in that Bay movie?
Oh, that must have been that other ugly 'con besides yourself and Megs.

I can understand how Starscream would be upset. Bay somehow confused me with Bumblebee. Clearly he didn't know I was the taller of the two. Of course, I'm not mad. Bay was just threatened by my good looks and the swarm of girls who love me. He must have had issues in his younger school years and had to take it out on me.

-Jazz