As Cybertron Turns...

Still sick. Too tired to break things now. Only option left is to lie around and watch TV.

And man, you fleshlings have slaggy TV. I will give a billion credits to whoever can tell me what the deal with Oprah is.

But, I suppose I can't complain too much. Cybertronian TV is worse. You know those pathetic 'daytime soaps', as you call them? We have something just like them. Except ours try to pretend to be famous figures in our history. As a comparison for you fleshlings, it would be like watching a soap opera about Eleanor and Franklin D Roosevelt, except Eleanor is having an affair with Joesph Stalin, and Hilter is the funny comic character who wanders in drunk every other episode.

Actually, come to think of it, that might almost be good. Wait... what am I saying? This virus is getting to me. Blech.

But back to Cybertron TV. It sucks. If our soap opera's sound bad (and trust me, they are), you haven't even considered our game shows. A couple of bots named Raindance and Grand Slam host this thing where they get unfortunate Transformers on to stage to prove that no Cybertronian alive has any talent whatsoever at singing. If you can keep up with the lyrics of 15 songs pulled randomly from across the entire Universe, you get a million credits. Nobody has done it yet. For which, I am truly grateful. Because seeing that would probably break me.

Assuming this virus doesn't break me first. Bleah.