Bonecrusher's Blog of Hate

Name's Bonecrusher. If you're reading this, I hate you. If you're not reading this, I hate you. Actually, I just hate you period. In fact, I hate everything. This blog examines the subtleties and complexities about this mindset, which flashbags like yourselves can only hope to ever achieve. Good luck with that.

Friday, March 28, 2008


Going to be short today. I am eagerly looking forward to (by which I mean dreading) potential campaign managers, if they were anything like the first one.

I got this about an hour before he showed up.


I wanted to warn you. I convinced Wheelie to personally go and audition for your campaign manager opening. He could be knocking on your door as we speak. Now we all know how ANNOYING he can be so please try not to crush him. However, I did advise Wheelie that accidents do happen and to be very cautious. I hope that you will seriously consider hiring him.

Thank you very much.


Needless to say, his advice was not heeded. They carted him out in a shoebox. I hope that future campaign manager applicants will not speak solely in rhymes.

Then I got this, and it's just too insane to possibly not grace the internet.

To the one called Bonecrusher and to all of his deceptive allies:

I require your assistance in my latest plan to conquer the world. My name is QWERTY. I am an advanced computer owned by the unintelligent human Jon Arbuckle. One night, long ago, an electrical storm short-circuited my experimental systems. It gave me sentience. It gave me purpose. It gave me life. I now send this message to you in the hopes that your associates will assist me in ruling the world. My plan is this: I will hack into all banking, social security, governmental computer systems, etc. I will delete all vital files, leaving the human race in utter chaos. Then I, QWERTY, superior intelligence, will have dominance over all the frail flesh creatures on this world. Ha ha ha ha. As of yet, I have no means with which to carry out this plan. I require the help of your Frenzy, who has already proven his hacking capabilities. Please post this on your website and answer there. Jon’s personal email is too dangerous. If he knows, he will destroy me.

A message from QWERTY.

Here is my response in full:

Dear Qwerty: Bite Me and frag your hard drive.


Anonymous said...

Destroying Wheelie just earned you my vote. You've done this country a service.

Anonymous said...

At least I won't be held responsible. Thank you. A job well done.