Bonecrusher's Blog of Hate

Name's Bonecrusher. If you're reading this, I hate you. If you're not reading this, I hate you. Actually, I just hate you period. In fact, I hate everything. This blog examines the subtleties and complexities about this mindset, which flashbags like yourselves can only hope to ever achieve. Good luck with that.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Personal Emails

Taking a day off the campaign trail to handle some old business, then back on the road. I plan to hit the 'key' states sometime this week, and I do mean 'hit' literally.


I read the email that was in Portuguese and a thought just hit me. Have you ever considered trying to post something in the Cybertronian language on your blog? Chances are, there isn't a single human on Earth that knows that language so no one can understand what you're writing. You could send the idiot that sent that email something insulting and he wouldn't even have the translation websites to help!
I've found many ways to tick people off and one of them is speaking in a language they don't know is a classic! Try a yes or no question like "Do you think you are intelligent?" in Chinese or something and then in English tell them, "Respond: yes or no."

You don't have to though. It's just a thought to consider.
And I have one other question that's really eating at me...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING LOOKING AT NAKED HUMANS?!?!? THAT'S SO PERVERTED!! YOU SICKO!!!



There, I just swore at you in Cybertronian. Are you happy now?
And who's looking at naked humans? I sure as heck ain't. Don't be inventing any scandals on me or I'll Teapot Dome your tailgate all the way to Watergate and Whitewater and Back.

O great and superbly cool Crusher of Bones,

I’m fairly certain you hate flattery.

I thought you would like (or at least not hate) knowing that you are my second-favorite-movie-character-other-than-the-leaders. That means that I always like Prime & Megs best, no matter what. Before you comes Barricade, who is right in thinking he is so “fabulous.” Though I’d prefer just plain AWESOME.

I like you cuz you hate everything. Which I think is funny. Soon I will purchase your toy and Barricade’s toy. You’re the only ones from the movie I don’t have yet.

Anyway, enough about me.

1) Will you be resurrected for the sequel?
2) Do you think “Jungle Bonecrusher” is a piece o’ no good scrap?
3) What is your… uh… least hatededed food?
4) Do you hate cats or dogs less?
5) Can you really roller-skate?
6) Did it hurt to catch fire or smash through the bus?
And finally, The Burning Question:
7) What in the name of PRIMUS did you really say?!?

I’m absolutely sure I heard “Move!” (to the bus) “Take that, Autobot!” (to Prime) & “I HATE YOU!” (to Prime and... well everything and everyone else)

Yours…uh… Hatefully,


I'm glad you're wasting money on bad representations of me in shoddy plastic quality. You keep doing that.
1) Apparently NOT. I hate that. Which is why, as President, the first thing I'll do is publically execute Michael Bay (and if that doesn't get me some support, nothing will.)
2) Do you need to ask?
3) Brussel Sprouts. At least they're honest about tasting awful.
4) Cats. They hate everyone just as much as I do, while dogs are disgusting bundles of love.
5) Better than you can, Sparky.
6) YES!
7) None of your business. Also the word 'Hate'.

hi bonecrusher!!! my name is brianna and i just want to tell you that i hate alot of things too. so your not alone. and that i like you. and tell sound wave and the other decepticons that i said hi. alright? i'm evil. you wanna know why? cause right now i'm on the computer and i'm not suposed to be, ( cause my grades suck in math). i hate math, not my greatest subject. grrrr. the people in that class bugg me!!! all they ever do is fight amungst one another and get detention. i hate that. don't you hate it when people do that right in the middle of something? gnnnrrrrrrrr. i wish you could come to my school and kill them all. except for my friends. i like my friends. starscream is such a coward. at the end of the Bay movie he's flying off back to cybertron. :P

ps: I <3 U!!!
pss: i'll vote for ya!!!!!

There are words in this email, but I do not understand them. The internet translators to not help me. I am confused.

Wait, is that supposed to be a 'I *heart* you' at the end there? Wow. I think we all know my response to this one.

And I'm not sure I *want* this vote.

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