Bonecrusher's Blog of Hate

Name's Bonecrusher. If you're reading this, I hate you. If you're not reading this, I hate you. Actually, I just hate you period. In fact, I hate everything. This blog examines the subtleties and complexities about this mindset, which flashbags like yourselves can only hope to ever achieve. Good luck with that.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Issues

There are a lot of issues this campaign. Here are some easy soundbytes for the press to lord over as if they actually meant something.

-Iraq: As I have mentioned before, my policy toward Iraq, Iran, North Korea, China and anybody else stupid enough to annoy me is to make liberal use of nuclear weapons, and pretty much glass entire continents. With me, you will not have to worry about prolonged wars. I'll get the job done fast.

-Health Care: My policy towards Health Care is to disband it. All of it. If you get sick and you can't get better on your own, tough. Your species didn't get to where it was by being a bunch of sissies about having a cold. In the old days, you let them die. I fully embrace a return to that policy.

-Taxes: You have too much money as it is, and you waste on stupid things, like stimulating the economy. Pft. I'll put your money to a much better use - more nukes. It's a policy for a new age.

-Abortion, Gay Marriage, Religion in Schools, Religion in General, Ect. - Hey, even *I'm* not dumb enough to touch those topics.

-Environmental Protection - I recommend dumping vast amounts of nuclear wastes into the ocean. If we're lucky, something will mutate, crawl on land, and wipe the whole darn planet out.

-Rising Gas Prices - It may surprise you to find that I am for forcibly lowering them, by way of violence against gas companies. Why? Because it annoys me when I'm driving along and need to fuel up and have to pay about 4000 dollars to fuel my tank. It's why I mostly walk these days.

-Republicans and Democrats - All leaders of both parties will be rounded up and executed. I'm sure we can all agree that this measure isn't all that harsh.

If I didn't answer your issue, email me or leave a comment.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Woohoo! Works for me! At least you wouldn't need a small army of Secret Service surrounding you. Your little claw thing can literally flip off your enemies. BC 4 Prez!

Anonymous said...

Bonecrusher, I've got a quick question about your thoughts on Health Care. Say some human had a headache and wanted to get rid of it. Would they still be able to buy medicine from a random store to get rid of said headache or would you get rid of all medicine from those stores, too?

-Rin

Claudia said...

Bonecrusher, have you faced any opposition from the enemy in your political efforts?

Are the Autobots speaking out against you? Surely your hate is not going unchecked with all of these "good guys" slinking around on this planet, too? Are do they realize that Bonecrusher is the future of this great nation?

Anonymous said...

I'd like to know your answer to Rin's question, too. Also, I got another one that's REALLY important: Is your Hate Blog official Transformers canon? If it is, we on Teletraan I-the TF wiki can have a page just for you! The REAL you. I hope this is canon! Please answer. Bye!

-Inferno's Queen (I'm a Teletraan I user)