Bonecrusher's Blog of Hate

Name's Bonecrusher. If you're reading this, I hate you. If you're not reading this, I hate you. Actually, I just hate you period. In fact, I hate everything. This blog examines the subtleties and complexities about this mindset, which flashbags like yourselves can only hope to ever achieve. Good luck with that.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Campaign Promises

I've got a pair of personal emails I'll respond too Wednesday. But for now, more on my bid for President. Remember, you can trust me to hate this job!

Q: If you do become president, who's going to be vice-president?
A: Whoever I can trust to stay out of the freaken way. I was thinking Brawl. Because he likes hurting things as much as I do, and similarity is a MUST in ever campaign. Plus he'll appeal to the 'green guy' vote.

Q:You need to campaign more. Make yourself known. Make appearances, get to know your fellow people...
A: I'll campaign when I'm slagging good and ready to. And I don't want to get to know you fleshbags, I know way too much about you already!

Q: A Decepticon for president of America, better than an Autobot.
A: Yes.

Q: Mr. Crusher, before deciding if I should support you or simply be crushed into paste, I must ask your opinion on the current NAFTA rules.

A: I hate the National Autobots Freedom from Tyranny Association. That movement lead to the downfall of Megatron's great empire, so I recommend that anyone who had been a part of it be shot.

Or are you talking about a different NAFTA?

Q: Bonecrusher, what are your positions on the issues?
-War on Terror

-Bears (#1 threat to America)
-Legal status of Mini-cons
-Diplomatic relations with other nations
-Diplomatic relations with other planets (Jungle Planet, Speed Planet, Giant Planet, Cybertron....)

-War on Terror: I'm for War, and I'm for Terror, so I must be for it. I think.
-Iraq: Nuke it.
-Economy: Nuke it.
-Bears: Ever since the Academy Awards, I've hated bears more then most other things, so I will institute a law that says all bears should be shot on sight. Preferably painfully.
-Environment: Nuke it.
-Legal Status of Minicons: Now, I don't want to appear racist - in fact, some of my best friends are Minicons (snicker), but I hate them, and they should all end up under my heel.
-Diplomatic Relations with Other Countries: Nuke em.
-Diplomatic Relations with Other Planets: I submit that we should begin construction on the moon, turning it into what I would like to call a "death star", or perhaps, if that name is taken, "Unicron."

Q: And also - the U.S Constitution says that you must be born in the United States to be president. How do you handle that?
A: I can claim my vehicle mode was manufactured in the US. And if that doesn't work, well, then screw it.

We are not surprised. Comment or Email, you twits.


Anonymous said...

Some president-y questions:

Who will be secretary of war, state, defense, etc.?


And one NOT president-y threat:

If you do not post my previous email on your blog, I will personally destroy any possibility of a Bonecrusher presidential campaign. Yes, I'm talking about that. If you don't post it and post answers for the whole world to see by next Wednesday, I will tell the world your deepest, arkest secret. Mwahaha....



P.S. Answering the email won't help, my computer doesn't do well with receiving emails.

Anonymous said...

I reccomend that you leave other sites alone, Kremzeek! You were blocked from the wiki for a reason.

-Inferno's Queen

P.S. I am not a girl.