Botcon

Well, it's that time of year. The time of year when all us Cybertronians go into hiding, underneath our beds, whimpering. Yep, it's Botcon, when all the slavish fanboys drag themselves together into one seething mass of stupidity that could crush the mightiest spark.

Now you are well aware that Hasbro butchered our history, our species, and our names, and then threw it at Children for them to play with. I hate that. But, at least those are just kids. When adults are spending their time and money obsessing over toy robots, slagging heck, that's just plain creepy.

And Botcon is by far the worst of the lot. I mean, sweet holy Primus. What is up with that? Several thousand slovenly geeks drooling over special crappy repaints of toys with idiot ideas? (This year, they're doing Evil Autobots! How original. It's about time they listened to our propaganda.)

And worst of all are those dreaded cosplayers, who attempt to dress up for us for reasons entirely unknown. That's the stuff of nightmares, right there.

So by now, you've probably figured out why none of us has ever attended one of these things. We'd be dismantled by rabid fans 5 seconds after entry. And trust me, ain't a slagging one of us is risking that.

Also fangirls lusting after Starscream. WHY PRIMUS? WHY???