You see, apparently there is this clause in the contract that states that not only are they allowed to turn my face to a misshapen plastic lump, but if they run out of robots to make toys of, they are allowed to make my first toy again, but this time in horrendously gaudy colors.
What possible explanation could they have for this? Oh wait, here's the bio:
"Barely functional after his battle with OPTIMUS PRIME®*, BONECRUSHER crawled away from the scene of his defeat and hid. Effecting what few repairs he could on his own, he also removed his locator beacon and communications hardware, cutting himself off entirely from the other surviving DECEPTICONS®*. Fleeing south, farther and farther, he eventually found himself deep in the jungles of South America. Hidden in the most remote area on Earth, he is free to indulge his rage on the rainforest without interruption. "
Right. I crawled away with my head torn off and repaired myself. Did Hasbro watch this freaken film they paid for? For slagging Sludge sideways, can't you fleshbags comprehend that I died in the movie? I don't want to come back, and these repaints are the reason why!
Oh, how I dread the robot mode...
Excuse me, I have to go cry. Or kill myself. Maybe both.
3 comments:
Three toys, Bonecrusher...
You got the regular, the Legends, and then the happy lil' Robot Heroes toy.
I know you love the Robot Heroes toy...
"For slaggin' Sludge sideways" is the greatest thing I've read today.
I hate that thing, too.
GAH! What will they do next, put fragging SPARKLES on your claw?
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