Most of you figured this stupid thing wasn't coming back. Good. You're not entirely helpless after all. I simply do not want to keep up with meaningful thought all week. I hate doing that. Are you surprised? You shouldn't be.
However, because people keep PESTERING ME and WON'T LEAVE ME ALONG, I've decided to try my hand at a new thing, so that my nuggets of wisdom will not be banished to the deoth of the Internet for eternity. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Twitter:
https://twitter.com/BonecrusherHate
Now I don't have to write anything meaningful, and you can still glean from my superior intelect, and further learn what to hate. There. Go. This blogs done. At least now I'll be twittering.
Whatever the slagging heck that means.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Apathy
If you haven't noticed - like you care - I haven't updated recently. I've deemed my experiment a failure. You humans cannot be taught hatred despite my best efforts. It's a crying shame.
That doesn't mean I'm going to stop posting. I will, on occasion, but it will happen less frequently. Look for me on the street. I'll be the robot yelling at the imbeciles I run into.
So just remember this: I hate you.
That doesn't mean I'm going to stop posting. I will, on occasion, but it will happen less frequently. Look for me on the street. I'll be the robot yelling at the imbeciles I run into.
So just remember this: I hate you.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Golf
The other day, Blitzwing, idiot sports nut that he is (Triple Takeover was indeed based on a real incident. Don't ask.), decided to try and convince me to play Golf.
Since I had nothing better to do, I agreed. Why I did, I'll never really know.
Let me tell you straight up: Golf is the single most boring, pointless sport in the history of the universe. Even Frungy makes a better game than golf.
90% of the time is sitting there staring at the other person, waiting for him to hit the stupid ball, while the remaining 10% is driving from ball to ball. You spend about .1% actually hitting the ball, and completely missing whatever the heck you were aiming for, unless it was water, in which case your ball goes right in, no problem.
Yeah, that's fun. Blitzwing couldn't understand why I hated it so much. He said something about it being a 'thinking 'bots game'. Meanwhile, all I could think about was how utterly boring it was.
It was, however, somewhat amusing to watch him fail to hit the ball out of a sand trap about 20 times. He used some very inventive curses. Guess you can learn something from Golf after all.
Since I had nothing better to do, I agreed. Why I did, I'll never really know.
Let me tell you straight up: Golf is the single most boring, pointless sport in the history of the universe. Even Frungy makes a better game than golf.
90% of the time is sitting there staring at the other person, waiting for him to hit the stupid ball, while the remaining 10% is driving from ball to ball. You spend about .1% actually hitting the ball, and completely missing whatever the heck you were aiming for, unless it was water, in which case your ball goes right in, no problem.
Yeah, that's fun. Blitzwing couldn't understand why I hated it so much. He said something about it being a 'thinking 'bots game'. Meanwhile, all I could think about was how utterly boring it was.
It was, however, somewhat amusing to watch him fail to hit the ball out of a sand trap about 20 times. He used some very inventive curses. Guess you can learn something from Golf after all.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Couple More Comments on Go-Bots
Something I neglected to mention last Monday - not all of the Go-Bots were fictional.
Leader One was actually a Decepticon imbecile that tried to usurp Megatron. He paid of Swindle to get top dollar for the Go-Bots show. Starscream only wishes he thought that scheme up. Sadly for Leader-One, Go-Bots never took off, and his reputation was tarnished forever. So much so, that he got the wonderful joy to be Megatron's pet Minicon in Armada. He'll never forgive Hasbro for that. It's the only thing they ever did right.
Crasher too, is real. She's an Autobot on a technicality. But she dated Megatron, (And Starscream... and Soundwave... she aims high. Can you tell?) and so, she got the Bad-Guy reputation. She's... shall we say, difficult. There are words that describe her in your language, but I shall neglect to type them out. You can figure it our for yourself.
Scooter is also a real bot, cept we call him Wheelie. But you knew that.
Leader One was actually a Decepticon imbecile that tried to usurp Megatron. He paid of Swindle to get top dollar for the Go-Bots show. Starscream only wishes he thought that scheme up. Sadly for Leader-One, Go-Bots never took off, and his reputation was tarnished forever. So much so, that he got the wonderful joy to be Megatron's pet Minicon in Armada. He'll never forgive Hasbro for that. It's the only thing they ever did right.
Crasher too, is real. She's an Autobot on a technicality. But she dated Megatron, (And Starscream... and Soundwave... she aims high. Can you tell?) and so, she got the Bad-Guy reputation. She's... shall we say, difficult. There are words that describe her in your language, but I shall neglect to type them out. You can figure it our for yourself.
Scooter is also a real bot, cept we call him Wheelie. But you knew that.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Email Day
Finally, some emails that are worth responding to. Thank Primus.
The story I'm about to tell is long and sad, so I'll shorten it. As I've already explained, Hasbro (in partnership with Takara) made a deal with the Autobots to use characters and stories from the great war for a kids cartoon. And what a slagging awful kids cartoon it was. But it was also the one who got famous.
Now here's the side of the story you don't often hear. This was actually a Decepticon idea - namely, Swindle's. Who's always out for a quick buck, and it sadly, no longer among the living (Primus burn his spark in the pit for eternity). And this is why.
You see, Swindle approached Tonka with the idea. They were enthralled. Unfortunately, Swindle didn't have the good graces to keep anything grounded in reality, and Go-Bots from Gobotron is what we got. When Megatron saw this, he was furious. And that's why Swindle is no longer among the living, and why Go-Bots is now reduced to the kids line within the kids line of Transformers.
Ahh, Black Arachnia. I dated her once, but so did every other Decepticon in existence, and most of the Autobots, come to think of it. That spider can get around. Fortunately, I'm sure she's smart enough not to drop by my place, since she knows that if I ever see her again, she's going to a laser blast to the face.
Even I have to admit she's got a strange allure about her, one no transformer can really explain. Maybe it's her exotic organic form, or maybe those legs, all 8 of them. All we can really say is that after a bot falls head-over-heels for her (Except, of course me. I just did it because I was bored. Also Frenzy, who for some strange reason is completely immune to her charms. I think it's because she stepped on him), she puts 'em to sleep, grabs their wallet and runs. It's really admirable, her tactics, now that I consider it. But of course, I also have to way that against the fact that the very reason I'm so cash-starved at the moment is entirely her fault. Yeah, I hate her.
Dear Fellow Decepticon.
As one of the new grunts on earth, I'm still confused about the "great war" (aka: how badly Hasbro AND TAKARA nerfed it).
Things got REALLY nuts when they started using the GO-BOTS' Name for even MORE kid-friendly dollar.
I bring this up because a new re-paint has been made for an old Renegade named Crasher (dubbed Fracture for legal reasons).
Did the Cybertron and Gobotron ever meet during the war or on Earth, or did the just get the same bum rap you did?
Mechevil
The story I'm about to tell is long and sad, so I'll shorten it. As I've already explained, Hasbro (in partnership with Takara) made a deal with the Autobots to use characters and stories from the great war for a kids cartoon. And what a slagging awful kids cartoon it was. But it was also the one who got famous.
Now here's the side of the story you don't often hear. This was actually a Decepticon idea - namely, Swindle's. Who's always out for a quick buck, and it sadly, no longer among the living (Primus burn his spark in the pit for eternity). And this is why.
You see, Swindle approached Tonka with the idea. They were enthralled. Unfortunately, Swindle didn't have the good graces to keep anything grounded in reality, and Go-Bots from Gobotron is what we got. When Megatron saw this, he was furious. And that's why Swindle is no longer among the living, and why Go-Bots is now reduced to the kids line within the kids line of Transformers.
Ok, I couldn't resist. I contacted Blackarachnia, advising her of a particular decepticon that is feeling a bit "low". She offered to come over and give you a little "cheering up" ...Bonecrusher, style of course. I'm sure, after your run-in with that ONE Autobot, that you have a few dents and scratches that need a little buffing out. She said that, as soon as she's done with Starscream, she'd be right over.
Well, I've had my fun for the day! Enjoy.
-Jazz
Ahh, Black Arachnia. I dated her once, but so did every other Decepticon in existence, and most of the Autobots, come to think of it. That spider can get around. Fortunately, I'm sure she's smart enough not to drop by my place, since she knows that if I ever see her again, she's going to a laser blast to the face.
Even I have to admit she's got a strange allure about her, one no transformer can really explain. Maybe it's her exotic organic form, or maybe those legs, all 8 of them. All we can really say is that after a bot falls head-over-heels for her (Except, of course me. I just did it because I was bored. Also Frenzy, who for some strange reason is completely immune to her charms. I think it's because she stepped on him), she puts 'em to sleep, grabs their wallet and runs. It's really admirable, her tactics, now that I consider it. But of course, I also have to way that against the fact that the very reason I'm so cash-starved at the moment is entirely her fault. Yeah, I hate her.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Wow
Subject: Hello, allow me to introduce myself...........
To: bonecrusherhatesyou@gmail.com
I hate apples!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do I even want to know what this is about? I swear, you fleshbags send me the most bizarre messages.
I mean, I hate apples too (are you surprised?), but seriously... SUBSTANCE PEOPLE.
I've got a couple emails I'll deal with on Monday.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
A Short Story
There was a time when I thought that there was nothing in the world I couldn't hate.
And after years of experience and searching, I have found that yes, there is nothing in the world I can't hate.
Just thought you should know that.
So, I'm taking a stasis nap the other day - yes a NAP. Even we need sleep once in awhile. What, you think it's easy running around 24/7 killing things and smashing people's houses? Well, I'd like to see you flesh sacks do better.
Ahem, where was I? Oh yes, nap. I was taking a nap the other day when, lo and behold, I was awaken by an obnoxious sound. Now, it takes a lot to wake me up, so as you can imagine, I was quite annoyed. For a brief moment, I was convinced that you humans had finally come up with an effective sonic weapon to use against us, and I was all prepared to go to war, when I realized what it was.
Do you humans really feel the need to flash bright lights and loud sirens every time one of you monkeys injures itself? Because it's ANNOYING. I have sensitive audials, and I hate that sound. If it weren't for a timely intervention by about 12 concerned Autobots, I would have smashed that thing in. It would have made my day slightly less hateful.
And after years of experience and searching, I have found that yes, there is nothing in the world I can't hate.
Just thought you should know that.
So, I'm taking a stasis nap the other day - yes a NAP. Even we need sleep once in awhile. What, you think it's easy running around 24/7 killing things and smashing people's houses? Well, I'd like to see you flesh sacks do better.
Ahem, where was I? Oh yes, nap. I was taking a nap the other day when, lo and behold, I was awaken by an obnoxious sound. Now, it takes a lot to wake me up, so as you can imagine, I was quite annoyed. For a brief moment, I was convinced that you humans had finally come up with an effective sonic weapon to use against us, and I was all prepared to go to war, when I realized what it was.
Do you humans really feel the need to flash bright lights and loud sirens every time one of you monkeys injures itself? Because it's ANNOYING. I have sensitive audials, and I hate that sound. If it weren't for a timely intervention by about 12 concerned Autobots, I would have smashed that thing in. It would have made my day slightly less hateful.
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